ChalkyDoodles.com is getting a FACELIFT & a NEW FOCUS! 

Join us this SPRING for a brand new way to 

“Get Chalky” and make a difference!

 In the meantime, check out our new sister site, DifferentDoodles.com

~ A Place to Embrace Differences ~

I’m excited to have a print mention in the local Advocate magazine’s Far North Dallas edition this month.   Follow my two blog series this year on Advocatemag.com as I write about Dallas folks balancing work, family and unique challenges as a guest blogger for the local neighborhood-focused magazine.

How It’s Done is a continuation of the series by the same name that I began on the Chalkydoodles blog long ago!  Read along as I share about Dallas-area women who own small businesses or juggle careers working from home as they care for their families and children.

Will You Be My Advocate? is my newest blog series, and very close to my heart.  Read about how moms from my neighborhood are coming together to gain support, encouragement and knowledge as they work towards becoming better advocates for their kids with learning differences and special needs.  Plus, read about highlights from training, seminars and other events held in the Dallas area to educate and encourage parents of children with differences.

Looking for more about learning disabilities and special needs?  Follow my new blog, Different Doodles, where I share about my experiences of a mother of two kids who learn and play differently.  And check out www.DifferentDoodles.com for a full list of resources for parents working toward becoming better advocates for their kids. The site is still under constrution (but the blog is working fine!), but we are adding  information daily as well as links to local and national parent education, seminars, books to read, laws to know and much more!

As you can tell, I’ve taken a leave of absence for the past few months from updating the Chalkydoodles blog.  I hope you’ll forgive my silence and lack of postings.  I’ve been very focused, for the past year or so, on my two elementary-aged kids and our family. 

This afternoon, I wrote this blog post to help explain, to some extent, what I’ve been up to lately and to introduce a new topic that I hope to blog about more frequently in the near future.   I would LOVE to hear your comments on this post and any others on this topic and, as always, welcome your words of wisdom, advice and encouragement. 

Thanks for staying tuned in.  You are much-appreciated, Chalkydoodles friends and family!

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Today my sweet 8-year-old son participated in his very first play. It was Jack and the Beanstalk and he played the role of Jack’s Father.  He did a great job, and so did the other kiddos who were at the camp with him all week.  The kids were funny, cute, energetic – everything you would expect from a group of elementary-aged kids (mostly boys) celebrating a great week of day camp getting to know one another, playing games, doing art projects,  etc.  Really cute stuff.

But what made today’s production unique was that this was no ordinary camp.  It was a camp run by The Callier Center at the University of Texas at Dallas for kids who need some extra help developing their social skills.  Camp InterACT was a great experience for Hendon, one of several good experiences we’ve had with similar programs at the Callier Center’s Richardson campus.

Hendon is one special kid – there is no doubt about that.  He is smart, thoughtful, has a great sense of humor and can put down more mint chocolate chip ice cream than any human I’ve ever met.   I cannot imagine my life without him, and am so happy that I’ve devoted the past 8 years to being his mom (and to raising his 6-year-old little sister). 

When you discover that you have a child (or in my case siblings) with a special need, a learning disability or another “difference,” as most parents refer to them these days, your life very suddenly takes a completely different turn than you ever expected that it would.  You soon discover that you are spending as much time making sure that your child gets every special service, therapy and diagnosis that he needs as you spend making sure that he is clothed, fed, happy and healthy.  It’s hard to accurately describe the amount of time you put into making sure that whatever makes your child special, doesn’t also make him so different that he can’t participate in society like everyone else. 

Yes, there are many sources and services out there to help – and many parents like myself tap into them regularly to guide and educate us on what to do next.  But, even with outside direction, so  much of what you do for your child is left completely up to you.  To use a phrase that I repeat to  myself almost daily “Only you will be your child’s best advocate.” 

You are the only person in this great big world who will be willing to put the time, energy and money into getting every single thing that your child needs.  If you make the mistake and depend on someone else to do it, you soon realize the age-old adage is really true – if you want something done right you have to do it yourself.  I’m normally not a supporter of this type of do-it-all-by-myself-mentality (many of you know that I’m a big fan of great teamwork) but when it comes to my special needs children, I have learned it to be more than true over and over again.  As you learn to advocate for your children, you also learn very quickly not to accept “no” or “not yet” or “wait” as an answer.  You can first trust, but then verify. 

There are many times that the teacher, school system, insurance company representative or other person helping you may be giving you accurate information.  But there are also many, many times in my experience that once you take the time to verify the answer you have been given, you find out that the trusted source was either incorrect, or gave you incomplete information.   In my experience, that’s one of the most important parts of being an advocate - doing your homework, double-checking answers, finding the correct source of information, and often finding help interpreting the information once you find it. 

But, getting back to Jack.  Today was one of those days when you realized that no matter how much time you spend, no matter how many phone calls you make, ARD meetings you attend, arguments you lose or win regarding your special-needs child – it’s all worth it.   It’s all worth it, because while your child will never come to you and ask, “Mommy,  will you be my advocate?” - he or she will reap the benefits of your advocacy for the rest of their life. 

The benefits may come in a significant form like an appropriate education plan (IEP) that you work tireless hours with the school to agree upon, or a teacher’s acceptance of and kindness towards your child once they understand what their role needs to be in his education or an improved ability to understand your child due to a great public school SLP, or your child learning to tie his shoes thanks to a patient private OT therapist. 

Or, it might come in a slightly less-signficant form - like your child making a friend, writing his name in cursive, getting a better grade, or having the confidence to stand up in front of an audience and play the role of “Jack’s Father” with a loud, clear voice and a big smile on his face.

I love my kids and I love being a mother.  There are days when I love being an advocate for my children and days when I quite frankly hate it.  But I wouldn’t change a single thing about my kids, and I wouldn’t want anyone else to play this role that I have the privilege of playing in their lives for as long as they will let me.  One day, my great  hope is that they will both come to me and say, “Mom, I’m ready to be my own advocate.”  And when that day comes, I’ll know that I played my role well, too.