Thanks for sharing, Chelsea!  Merry Christmas, everyone.

It’s definitely that time of year again.  Let the festivities begin!

 Here’s the TOP TEN from our countdown for Summer 2011.

#10 - Getting Ice Cream in our pajamas after bedtime!

#9  Free Slurpee Day!

#8 – Visiting an Animal Shelter

#7 – Cat Birthday Party!

#6  Bowling!

 #5 

It was your typical neighborhood women’s group - a mixture of moms from our local elementary school.  Some I know very well, and others I’ve enjoyed getting to know better recently.   While I’ve chatted with these women many-a-time in the school yard during pick-up, during play dates, etc. - what made this gathering so unique, were the new conversations.  While many of our day-to-day interactions center around our kids, families, jobs, schedules, etc. this was the first time I had sat down with any one of these women and discussed our upbringings, our perceptions of race in today’s society, the way our parents and grandparents viewed racial diversity and what they taught us about it. It was a fascinating discourse that lasted well past 1:00 a.m.

While there are varied opinions about The Help, and increasing in vocality this week with The Help movie opening in theaters this past Wednesday, one opinion, I hope is universal.   For the women who have read the book and are willing to open their minds and their ears, the conversations occurring across the country in book clubs, discussion groups and outside movie theaters are all doing one thing:  The Help is drawing women closer together by opening up real discussions about real substance – who we are, where we came from and how these shape who we are raising our children to become.

I recently had the privilege of hearing The Help author Kathryn Stockett speak as part of the Dallas Museum of Art’s Arts & Letters Live series.  After an evening full of laughter (Ms. Stockett is absolutely hysterical) and listening to the author’s experience writing the book, and to other women’s comments and questions about it, my biggest takeaway:  We all want to live in a society where we can thrive and grow simply by being who we are; and where we can have a voice to tell others about it.

Whether our experiences in life have been mostly good or mostly bad, there is something very liberating about sitting with a group of women who are willing to listen, share and honestly look at themselves and think about how they can improve their roles as mothers, sisters and friends.   In my opinion, The Help is, at the very least, causing women to examine their attitudes and behaviors in their own, current worlds – and getting a new topic of conversation started.

We’re all raising our kids in a world full of bullying, name-calling, cliques, exclusion and peer pressure.  The best way to cross-check what we’re teaching our children is to take a good hard look at how we are treating the people around us.  If we can’t demonstrate daily to our kids an attitude of kindness, acceptance and equality, how can we expect them to live that out in their own lives? 

For me, the challenge is clear.  Look at yourself, listen to others and really think about how your current attitudes and perceptions shape the way you live your life and raise your kids.  If you can’t proudly cite your own behavior as an example for your children, then consider what you can do to change it.  Your kids, and our society, will thank you for it.

To see a list of discussion questions on The Help used by our book club, go here.

This afternoon, I wrote this blog post to help explain, to some extent, what I’ve been up to lately and to introduce a new topic that I hope to blog about more frequently in the near future.   I would LOVE to hear your comments on this post and any others on this topic and, as always, welcome your words of wisdom, advice and encouragement. 

Thanks for staying tuned in.  You are much-appreciated, Chalkydoodles friends and family!

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Today my sweet 8-year-old son participated in his very first play. It was Jack and the Beanstalk and he played the role of Jack’s Father.  He did a great job, and so did the other kiddos who were at the camp with him all week.  The kids were funny, cute, energetic – everything you would expect from a group of elementary-aged kids (mostly boys) celebrating a great week of day camp getting to know one another, playing games, doing art projects,  etc.  Really cute stuff.

But what made today’s production unique was that this was no ordinary camp.  It was a camp run by The Callier Center at the University of Texas at Dallas for kids who need some extra help developing their social skills.  Camp InterACT was a great experience for Hendon, one of several good experiences we’ve had with similar programs at the Callier Center’s Richardson campus.

Hendon is one special kid – there is no doubt about that.  He is smart, thoughtful, has a great sense of humor and can put down more mint chocolate chip ice cream than any human I’ve ever met.   I cannot imagine my life without him, and am so happy that I’ve devoted the past 8 years to being his mom (and to raising his 6-year-old little sister). 

When you discover that you have a child (or in my case siblings) with a special need, a learning disability or another “difference,” as most parents refer to them these days, your life very suddenly takes a completely different turn than you ever expected that it would.  You soon discover that you are spending as much time making sure that your child gets every special service, therapy and diagnosis that he needs as you spend making sure that he is clothed, fed, happy and healthy.  It’s hard to accurately describe the amount of time you put into making sure that whatever makes your child special, doesn’t also make him so different that he can’t participate in society like everyone else. 

Yes, there are many sources and services out there to help – and many parents like myself tap into them regularly to guide and educate us on what to do next.  But, even with outside direction, so  much of what you do for your child is left completely up to you.  To use a phrase that I repeat to  myself almost daily “Only you will be your child’s best advocate.” 

You are the only person in this great big world who will be willing to put the time, energy and money into getting every single thing that your child needs.  If you make the mistake and depend on someone else to do it, you soon realize the age-old adage is really true – if you want something done right you have to do it yourself.  I’m normally not a supporter of this type of do-it-all-by-myself-mentality (many of you know that I’m a big fan of great teamwork) but when it comes to my special needs children, I have learned it to be more than true over and over again.  As you learn to advocate for your children, you also learn very quickly not to accept “no” or “not yet” or “wait” as an answer.  You can first trust, but then verify. 

There are many times that the teacher, school system, insurance company representative or other person helping you may be giving you accurate information.  But there are also many, many times in my experience that once you take the time to verify the answer you have been given, you find out that the trusted source was either incorrect, or gave you incomplete information.   In my experience, that’s one of the most important parts of being an advocate - doing your homework, double-checking answers, finding the correct source of information, and often finding help interpreting the information once you find it. 

But, getting back to Jack.  Today was one of those days when you realized that no matter how much time you spend, no matter how many phone calls you make, ARD meetings you attend, arguments you lose or win regarding your special-needs child – it’s all worth it.   It’s all worth it, because while your child will never come to you and ask, “Mommy,  will you be my advocate?” - he or she will reap the benefits of your advocacy for the rest of their life. 

The benefits may come in a significant form like an appropriate education plan (IEP) that you work tireless hours with the school to agree upon, or a teacher’s acceptance of and kindness towards your child once they understand what their role needs to be in his education or an improved ability to understand your child due to a great public school SLP, or your child learning to tie his shoes thanks to a patient private OT therapist. 

Or, it might come in a slightly less-signficant form - like your child making a friend, writing his name in cursive, getting a better grade, or having the confidence to stand up in front of an audience and play the role of “Jack’s Father” with a loud, clear voice and a big smile on his face.

I love my kids and I love being a mother.  There are days when I love being an advocate for my children and days when I quite frankly hate it.  But I wouldn’t change a single thing about my kids, and I wouldn’t want anyone else to play this role that I have the privilege of playing in their lives for as long as they will let me.  One day, my great  hope is that they will both come to me and say, “Mom, I’m ready to be my own advocate.”  And when that day comes, I’ll know that I played my role well, too.

My daughter started Kindergarten last week and my son is now in second grade, so things are definitely changing around our house.  Lots of peace, quiet and work getting done, which is definitely not always the norm!

Here’s one of my favorite shots of my kids – whispering to each other outside their elementary school on the first day back.  Big brother has been walking little sister to her kindergarten class every day so far.  Cute just does not describe it…

Hope your kiddos have had a great first week or two of school!   Stay tuned for exciting Chalkydoodles news for the Fall, including lots of new products, some great sales heading your way and our Holiday 2010 preview!

I love this simplistic vintage chalkboard sign and message. 

 The summer is getting a little long and hot, but I am loving the extra time with  my kids at home.  Yesterday I played a nice, long game of Scrabble with my son, looked through my daughter’s baby book and photos (per her request), and sang lullabies from when they were both infants.

Good, purposeful stuff.

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